Creating A Beautiful Lifebook: One Child Policy

This one is a biggie. Hang on.

I think it is essential for my daughter to know about the one-child policy. I think she needs to know the climate in China and the possible reasons her biological parents had for giving her up. She needs to know WHY parents abandon their children.

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The one-child policy has a lot of information available on the internet. Just do a google search and you'll find many links. This is definitely an area to adapt as your child ages and matures. Right now, the simple explanation in Mae's book states:

"In China, parents may only have one child, maybe two if the first child is a girl. The reason for this is the Chinese tradition of caring for parents in their old age. A daughter leaves her family to live with her husband's parents but a boy will stay and care for his parents. This is why parents need to have a boy, to secure their lives in their old age."

This explanation, for the moment, soothes her. She understands, at some level, that it is not her fault her parents had to give her up. I cannot wait to take her back to China, to show her the large population, so she can truly see why these rules were put into effect.

Once you've detailed the one-child policy, at whichever level you think is appropriate, don't be afraid to refer to it when questions arise. Eliminating the guilt is key!

Another addition to this section can be the finding ad and picture from the local newspaper, if you can find it. Brian Stuey, of research-china.org, is an excellent resource for this information. Mae's little face, described (in translation) in the paper, is so sweet. It is the very first picure, the only "newborn" picture we have. The rest of the text describes where she was found, when, and what she was wearing. It is the only written record we have from that time, that week, those first few days of her life. It is precious.



So, between the one-child policy and your child's finding ad, you are well on your way to creating a beautiful and very informational lifebook for your child! Good job!

If you missed earlier posts, you can find them all archived by title in the box to the right, under Archives.

How is it going? Remember, don't try and make it perfect, just do it! You'll be so very glad you did.

Holiday Preparation - already?

First, let me apologize for not having the next installment of the Lifebook Series up here today. Things got a little wacky. I promise it'll be up by the end of the week!

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I was very excited to see the FedEx man today -with my soap supplies! I am going to try making our soap, after being inspired by FIMBY. Actually, all my friends and family will be receiving homemade gifts this year. Partly a financial decision, and partly due to the ease of "school age" children, I've been concocting tinctures for our sniffles, vanilla extract to gift to friends, and now, soon, soap! I'm so excited!

My first batch will be a simple one, lightly scented with lavender. I'm hoping it will be mild enough for all our uses, but sudsy enough to be good in the bathtub (my kids can get so very dirty!)

Other distractions include the very pretentious but quite effective Recovery Clinic. With elite triathletes traipsing in and out, I sort of feel like a faker, but the boots felt great! The Graston, not so much. So, with three weeks to go til my marathon, I plan to visit the clinic after each run to help my recovery. Boulder is so funny.

I was psyched to see that my In My Kitchen post was cross-linked through BlogHer and that brought a lot of traffic! So fun to see that happen - especially since that post was such a good one for me. Life just happens, you know?

So, there's been lots more roasting of tomatoes, baking of snacks (vegan peanut butter rice crispy treats! Yum!), and other sundry cooking, as well as training, TKD-ing, homework-helping (with two kiddos having homework, I'm definitely feeling the pressure to help them "make time" to get it done) ... well, there is just a lot of doing around here lately!

How are your days? Is the Fall weather inspiring busy-ness, or a snuggle-back-into-the-covers approach? (I admit that I start each day with that!)

In my kitchen...

Today has not turned into the day I had planned. Life is funny that way, isn't it? I had planned to do my 20-miler today, to free up my weekend. I woke up this morning, still tired from rehearsal in Denver last night, sneezed, and felt my raw throat tighten when I swallowed. Oh dear. This was not the day to be out in the chilly, wet air for four hours, I supposed.

I got the kids off to school and had a minor calendar confusion, which eliminated any hope of me making it to my 9am yoga class. Oh well. I made myself a cup of echinachea tea with some slippery elm bark powder and surveyed my kitchen.

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A large crate of 50 ears of corn lay waiting in the pantry. A huge flat of over 40 tomatoes glowed red in the corner of the kitchen. And the bread bag, when I reached for a slice of toast, had only once slice left. Decision made.

So far, I've put 4 four-cup bags of fresh corn kernels into the freezer, ready and waiting to be turned into one of our favorites, Corn Chowder. About 25 tomatoes are chopped and roasting in the oven, putting off a heavenly aroma, soon to be turned into another favorite, Soulemama's Carrot Tomato Soup. Mmm. And the bread is rising. In this chilly house, I am grateful to have the time to let it rise all day if it needs to. This afternoon the delicious smell of fresh bread will greet my two (of three) children after school.

Speaking of children, I am minus one this week. Ted is at 100 Elk, up in the mountains with his 4/5 class. They are hiking, canoeing, doing ropes courses, horseback riding, and I'm sure many more wonderful outdoorsy activities. I am certain that Ted is in heaven.

Sam arrived home from Keystone Science School yesterday afternoon, tired and happy. It is nice to have his sweet little face in the house again. Mae has a field trip each day this week; today they are taking a bright yellow schoolbus to the Botanical Gardens in Denver. Never a dull moment.

And here I sit, taking a break from slicing corn, stirring tomatoes, kneading bread and fixing tea to pause and give thanks. It is a lovely day, indeed.

Creating a Beautiful Lifebook - Painting Orphanage Life

Hello again! How is it going? I hope you've had fun researching your child's country (province, city, etc.)

hallway in the HuaiHua SWI

This week we're going to dig more deeply into the orphanage (or foster home) that your child spent the first months of her life. Many of you have been fortunate enough to procure pictures, from a digital camera you sent, or from a friend who traveled before you. My daughter's orphanage also has a Yahoo! page, which is a wonderful resource. Pictures of the outside, inside, the purchases they bought with our donations ... all of those pictures can add such insight into your child's first months.

Often the referral and update pictures you received are taken in the orphanage - those you can choose to highlight in the orphanage section or a separate section. If you have pictures from a foster family, by all means, include those, though if you have more than a few they may warrant their own section.

Another thing to add to this section is pictures of the orphanage director and the nannies, if you have them. While you may or may not have a picture of your child with her personal nanny, even the nanny who brought her to you has a bittersweet importance.

Another possibility is to add information about your child's first name. In Mae's case, her last name is Huai, for the city she was found in, HuaiHua City. Her first name is Xiang, which I discovered is the name of the major river that divides Hunan Province. I discovered information about the river and even was fortunate enough to procure a coal drawing of the river from an artist while in China. It will be in a frame eventually and a copy is in the "Your Name" section.

Anything you have about the orphanage is wonderful. It is her roots, her own story.

If you've missed earlier posts, you can find them again, in the box on the right, under Archives.

How is it going? Remember, we aren't trying to create the perfect LifeBook. Don't worry yourself trying to make something perfect. Just do it!

Creating A Beautiful Lifebook: Gathering Information On The Country, Province and City

Hello everyone! I am so happy and excited to be back in the space with you! Thank you for your patience and understanding - August was a crazy month!

The first step to creating your child's lifebook is to gather information, which was your assignment before I abandoned you all!  If you haven't stated yet, no worries! Here is some help.

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An essential component to a lifebook is information about your child's country. Dig a little deeper (in international adoption) into the province. If you can, even information about the town is a bonus. Besides information, pictures are wonderful! As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

For simplicity's sake, let's talk about this in relation to China.

It is easy to find a map of China. Find a nice one that shows the provinces in different colors. Print this and put a big star on your child's province, or on the city if you know it.

Here is a caution - make sure, if you are highlighting the city, that you choose the city she was found in, not necessarily the city you will travel to. In my case, Mae was born in Huaihua City, though we adopted her in the capital city of Changsha.

Once you have a map, try and find pictures of the province, or city. (Don't worry - we will get to pictures of the orphanage soon).) A wonderful resource is chinatoday.com. Go to the Cities and Provinces tab on the left and select your choice.

Another wonderful resource is a Yahoo! group, if your orphanage has one. My Yahoo! group had an astonishing five pages of pictures! Besides pictures of the orphanage (which will be useful in a few weeks), there were so many beautiful pictures of Hunan province.

All of this information will inform the rest of your lifebook. You'll discover so much. Off you go! And enjoy!  

What have you discovered? Do share in the comments!

Eight

Sam, you are eight years old today.

Eight years ago, you emerged screaming in rage from my belly and spent the first three years of your life trying to catch up to your big brother. Those were hard years, for all of us.

The last five years of your life have been easier. You've settled into your own. You are your own person, to be sure.

You love Gogos and Legos.
You love to draw and write stories.
You love "Mama bread" and "family milk."
You love back scratches and "feather touch" on your belly.

Now in 2nd grade, you are turning into a math whiz and a fabulous speller.
You have many, many friends who adore you.

You are such a fun, quirky kiddo.
I am so lucky to be your mother.

I love you, Sam-a-lamb. So very, very much.

Love, Mama